Your face is a jimmy john
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
