the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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