TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
