I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
