Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
