my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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