Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
