i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize