I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Let's get the cat blown out
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
