i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
