At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
