I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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