Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Tornado booty call.. dedication
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
