is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
