The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Randomize
