I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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