do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
