is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
