He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
