please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
