so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
