went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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