If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
