She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Alive.
So much puke
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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