Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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