Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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