You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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