It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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