Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Bring me that man meat
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
