Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize