hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
