if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
