The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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