he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
