He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
