I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
i need some magic done to my vagina
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
