i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
