I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
