he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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