hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
