We're facebook friends in real life
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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