I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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