im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
So. Much. Porn.
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