2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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