South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
