I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
