When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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