i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
