I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
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Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
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No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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