I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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