Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
