for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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