i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
