She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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