I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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