Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
