could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
