I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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