I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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