fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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