I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
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