at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
