he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
