after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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